When driven leaders hit a wall and can’t figure out why they’re not getting traction – we don’t start by adding more skills.
First, we look at the strengths already running the show.
That might involve exploring their DISC profile.
Not to put them in boxes – but to surface patterns.
- Do they like to move quickly or carefully?
- Focus more on tasks or people?
- Zoom out to the big picture – or zero in on the here-and-now?
- Where do they unconsciously default to when pressure hits?
Because most leadership friction isn’t about lack of talent or effort.
It’s what happens when a once-reliable strength becomes a rigid identity.
Leadership Trap: Over-using strengths to the point of self-sabotage
You’ve been praised, promoted and trusted for your strengths. So you double down on them.
Until…
- 💭 “Why aren’t people listening like they used to?”
- 💭 “Why am I constantly in cleanup mode?”
- 💭 “Why do I feel disconnected from my team – and myself?”
That’s when your superpower stops helping…and starts holding you back.
Case Study: The “High-D” Developer in Default Mode
When coaching a frustrated software developer, he said:
“I’m the most experienced person here – why am I not included in decisions early enough?
He’d already raised the issue – to avoid impractical requests or costly rework. But nothing changed.
He was a classic high-D: strategic, direct, got sh*t done – and was getting impatient.
I asked: “What are the pros and cons of your style?”
He confidently listed the pros – for 7 straight minutes. One of them? Being concise.
So, I gently asked “How concise do you think that answer was?”
He paused: “…What was the question again?”
💡 The moment landed.
He wasn’t being excluded because he lacked value – but because his drive to lead unintentionally left others feeling sidelined.
They didn’t feel they could contribute early, so they bought him in late.
To increase his influence, he needed to use his words wisely. Speak less, but say more.
This Happens Across All DISC Styles
Each style has sacred gifts – and predictable blind spots.
🔴 The High-D (Dominance) Developer:
- ✅ Fast, bold, decisive.
- ⚠️ Overpowers, assumes control, reacts under pressure.
- 🔑 Growth opportunity: Hold power lightly. Lead with space, not just speed. Invite contribution.
✨ Drive without dialogue can leave others behind.
🔵 The High-C (Conscientious) General Counsel:
- ✅ Detailed, reliable, brilliant at delivering quality.
- ⚠️ Perfectionistic, emotionally distant, risk averse.
- 🔑 Growth opportunity: Balance precision with presence, and logic with heart. Inspire – don’t just critique.
“I give feedback. I’m approachable. But I just don’t have time for handholding.”
But his team didn’t need handholding. They needed clarity, conviction and psychological safety.
To lead high standards, he had to paint possibility – not just fix problems or enforce process.
✨ Risk management earns trust – but vision inspires belief.
🟡 The High-I (Influence) Business Development Manager:
- ✅ Energetic, engaging, connected people beautifully.
- ⚠️ Scattered, inconsistent follow through, avoids tough conversations.
- 🔑 Growth opportunity: Pair charisma with commitment. Fun with focus. People with process.
She lit up the room – but execs questioned her contribution.
Once she mapped her pipeline and led meetings with clear agendas and pitch plans, trust followed.
✨ Relationships open doors – but clarity builds confidence.
🟢 The High-S (Steadiness) CFO:
- ✅ Empathetic, patient, dependable.
- ⚠️ People pleased, hesitant, avoids conflict.
- 🔑 Growth opportunity: Set boundaries. Speak truth, even gently. Truth is a form of love.
She was loyal – but hesitate to challenge the founder’s excessive spending.
After raising concerns clearly but calmly, her overwhelm shifted to grounded leadership.
She became a stabilising anchor – not a sponge absorbing others’ stress.
✨ Harmony soothes – but courage strengthens.
The Leadership Insight:
Your strengths are sacred – but they’re not your soul.
Overused, they become armour. And armour blocks connection.
Self-awareness isn’t about fixing your personality – it’s about flexing your leadership.
To get out of autopilot:
- 💡 Ask yourself: 1️⃣ What are the strengths of my DISC style? 2️⃣ What’s the shadow side of that strength when overused? 3️⃣ Who around me has a different style – and how can I flex to connect more effectively?
- 🔄 Interrupt the pattern. High-D? Speak second. High-C? Prioritise direction over perfection. High-I? Get clear before connecting. High-S? Say the thing. That’s where growth lives.
- 🌱 Reflect on: “What am I gripping too tightly? What am I avoiding in the name of ‘being good at my job’? Where can I be 5% more present or intentional?”
The best leaders don’t abandon their strengths – they alchemise them.
What strength are you gripping too tightly?
