Does your leadership reflect your vision – or your limitations?
I often hear leaders share frustration when their team’s engagement results come back with:
Low scores on wellbeing
Poor perceptions of pay fairness
No belief that anything will change as a result of the survey
One leader recently said, “I can influence wellbeing… but I’m not in control of the others.”
I asked: “Who is?”
Her answer? “The executive and HR.”
That moment reflected a pattern I see across many organisations: a culture of quiet resignation.
A culture where people believe nothing will be different, and that someone else is responsible.
The Leadership Trap: Outsourcing Influence to “The System”
I had previously coached this leader on inclusive leadership – and the importance of being an upstander vs a bystander.
But bystanding doesn’t only show up when you witness bias or injustice.
It also shows up when we:
See culture slipping… and stay silent.
Believe in a better way… but wait for permission.
That’s not leadership. That’s management with a side of learned helplessness.
The Truth About Complacency Culture
Complacency doesn’t always look like laziness.
More often? It looks like:
“That’s not my role.”
“We’ve tried that before.”
“Leadership needs to fix this.”
“I’m just doing what I can.”
But the moment we defer culture to someone else… we become passive observers subject to its effect – rather than seeing culture as something we can actively question, shape and shift.
What Complacency Costs You
It doesn’t just block change – it drains vision, energy, and momentum.
Be honest:
Where are you softening your standards to avoid conflict?
Where are you disengaging, telling yourself “It’s not my call”?
Where are you waiting for someone else to go first?
Stepping Into Your Power
Leadership isn’t about controlling every outcome.
It’s about influencing what you can – consistently.
You may not control pay structures. You may not write the policies. But you do influence energy, clarity, and expectations in every room you enter.
You shape what’s tolerated. What’s celebrated. What’s ignored.
You are either reinforcing the current system – or inviting a new one.
Leadership Insight:
Culture shifts when leaders stop outsourcing responsibility – and start modelling the change they want to see.
Even when you’re not “in charge,” you’re never powerless. You’re either a participant or a permission slip.
One of the most encouraging moments in my coaching conversations? When leaders choose to step up. For the one above, she’s preparing communication to her team to acknowledge what she’s heard and what actions she’s taking in response.
This week:
Ask yourself: “Where in your leadership are you playing the bystander?” Choose one cultural pattern you’ve been tolerating.
Reflect on: What would it look like to step into my power – with courage, care and humility? 
Model what’s possible: Name the gap between what’s happening… and what’s possible. Even if it feels imperfect, take one small step to lead out loud.
Because leadership isn’t about waiting for the system.
It’s about becoming the signal that something better is possible.
